You sit in it for long stretches of time. It makes you money. It has the ability to make you look amazing, but if not treated with care, can cause a flurry of heavy emotions. Today, we’re talking about your cam space!
Design psychology coach, owner of Seriously Happy Homes design firm, and author of the book, “Happy Starts at Home,” Rebecca West joins us to lend her expert opinion and insight on how our work-from-home environments are directly linked to our emotional well-being. Additionally, Rebecca discusses strategies to tackle the modern-day struggle of maintaining a healthy balance between work and home life, and practical considerations when designing a cam space that is attention-grabbing, incites feelings of happiness, and is uniquely YOU!
***For More Info and to Connect with Rebecca West***
Instagram – @beseriouslyhappy
Twitter – @happyseriously
Link to her book, “Happy Starts at Home” on Amazon
Last weekend, our team attended the Exxxotica adult convention in Edison, NJ. While there, we were able to meet and connect with many individuals and companies in our industry, one being Pineapple Support. In this video, we speak with Leya Tanit, a British performer who is also the founder of the Pineapple Support organization. Launched in April 2018, Pineapple Support’s mission is to provide 24/7, free and subsidized emotional support therapy for adult performers via their online platform that is free of discrimination, judgement, or stigma . There is also an option to join the Pineapple team as a therapist (or “listener”)- go here to learn more and read the criteria. Watch our video for more info about Pineapple Support, and check out their links below to explore:
(USA) – PineappleSupport.org
(UK) – PineappleSupport.com
Twitter and Instagram – @PineappleYSW
When people see us attending these events, they are seeing a final product. But do your friends, peers, and colleagues really know just how much time, effort, and money goes into looking show-ready? I did a lil’ digging thanks to the help of a couple of friends (…who shall remain nameless 😉 to give everyone a little bts insight.
First, let’s start with HAIR. Everyone has their own signature look. Some looks are lower-maintenance, some require trips to the salon, and some require some DIY know-how. Cue:
Any guesses on how much a bag of extensions might cost in terms of hours worked?
Let’s talk LASHES! Lashes really give that boost of looking awake even though maybe you stayed up a little late the night before and are slightly dying on the inside the morning after (…not that I would know anything about that, ha ha). They also enhance your look when taking pics/vids. I personally prefer lash extensions just because they’re less time consuming and lower maintenance once they’re applied versus messing with glue-on strip lashes. I’m telling you, once the corners lift, your night is O-V-E-R! So for the latter reference, just how many pairs of lashes should one bring for a week-long event? We’re enlightened here:
Pro-tip from our friends: always bring extras!
Strip lashes typically run anywhere between $4-5/pair for the drug store brands, and upwards of $11-$20/pair for faux mink or more luxe lash lines. I still love good old fashioned Ardell lashes that run around $4/pair and still look fly. You don’t always need to spend major to look amazing. 😉
And what about wardrobe, shoes and accessories? Any advice from our friends on how to organize your different looks during multi-day events?
Okay, so maybe not so much. LOL
Hey, no judgement… you’re usually shuffling with limited time between different events and parties, so keeping organized is not always the easiest.
Pro-tip: pull together looks when packing so as not to overpack (and possibly exceed the airline’s 50lb. checked luggage weight limit)!
Finally, what about MAKEUP? In an ideal world, we’d all have our own personal hair/make-up artists to glam us up in a snap, but for most of us, it’ll take some quick-handed finesse to get the job done…
So I think it’s safe to say that if you see a well put together performer (in any circumstance, but especially) at one of these shows, give them a compliment and let them know that you appreciate his or her efforts.
This is a tricky question. I’d say that if you are going to bring your (non-XXX industry) partner/significant other/bf/gf to an adult trade show with you, you have to be very clear about two things:
(1) your goals for the show
(2) your partner’s role(s) during the show if they were to accompany you
I absolutely love meeting the special person (or in some cases, people) in your life- the person who supports you on the day to day. The person who always has your back. And sees you through your good and bad days. The person who knows you at your core: the real you, off-cam. I love catching a sense of your dynamic with this person when they help you with your coat or when you’re canoodling on the other side of the table at dinner.
However, attending an adult tradeshow can be intense. You can feel a sense of urgency and excitement upon walking into an event- like, you need to make the most of your time and check everything off of your list that you need or want to accomplish. But is this possible with your partner at your side? Maybe. Yes. It depends on a few things.
First, I’d recommend approaching any adult tradeshow like this:
whether or not you are an active participant in the show, you are still working. You’re a model in the industry. There are other models, companies, representatives present in the same room as you, and it is a rare opportunity to network, explore, learn, meet, and possibly even create new opportunities for yourself that you might not have been able to if you had stayed at home. If you’re not logging on to cam while you’re attending a show (or your work schedule is taking a big hit), then you should plan on making the most of the time you do have at the show. With some fun in between, of course. 😉
(1) WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS BY ATTENDING THIS SHOW?
Everyone has different reasons for attending shows. Some of them could be:
- “getting out there”/exposure/brand awareness
- content opportunities
- social enjoyment/attending social events/partying
- making an appearance
- new business opportunities
- meeting fans
- meeting companies
- being a spectator
Your goals can differ between the various shows. Take time prior to the show to really figure out what you want to accomplish with this opportunity, and factor your partner’s presence into those scenarios. For instance, I know that certain shows are more focused on social events and partying- this can be an excellent reason to bring my partner along versus shows where I know my goals and schedule will be heavy with 1-on-1 meetings (where my partner’s presence would be inappropriate).
Your partner should always be on the same page as you regarding what your goals are, and be a source of support in these instances. If they are steering your participation around how they are feeling or what they want to do without respect for what you are trying to accomplish (“I don’t want you to go to the Networking Happy Hour- you’ll be talking to people and I’ll be bored!”), then it’s best to have a conversation with your partner ahead of time to avoid any sticky situations when you’re at the actual event.
In these instances, absolutely consider your partner, but also put your needs first. There is always room to compromise. And if there isn’t compromise, then it may be best to forego bringing them along.
(2) WHAT WILL YOUR PARTNER’S ROLE(S) BE DURING THE SHOW?
Support, right? They’re there for moral support? Great! But what will that look like when you’re actually at the show? Will they be hovering quietly behind you the entire time? Will they be talking over you, acting as your manager during conversations with industry peers?
As someone who has met a number of partners over the course of the years, I can tell you that there is a way to rub someone the wrong way- it happens. And whether I wanted to or not, I couldn’t help but associate those experiences as a reflection of that performer, regardless of the fact that it was their partner who was acting inappropriately. It is up to you to get everything zipped up tight by showtime- not have your bf freak out on me as to why you’re not on Page 1 every time you log in in the middle of a showroom floor.
That said, it is possible to have a successful dynamic at adult shows with your partner if you define their role ahead of time. Some examples could be:
- a source of moral and emotional support
- schedule manager/making sure you’re on time/going over day’s agenda
- assistance with handling cam affairs (emails, etc.) while offline
- help with social media/taking pics, vids, etc./grabbing content of you in action
- help with making sure your basic needs are fulfilled (did you eat today?)
- a date to social events
Consider your partner’s aptitude to adapt to social settings as well. If you have a partner who has a tendency to be awkward or introverted in social settings, that’s okay! But if you’re a social butterfly, your mobility may be limited if you are constantly checking in on your partner. I’m not saying to ditch your partner, but consider how they’d fare during different scenarios or what their involvement would be, and plan how you’d effectively get the most out of your time there.
In short, have a game plan ahead of time, set boundaries, goals and expectations, and share this with your partner. You can plan together. You can still function as a team without being joined at the hip for the entire duration of the show. Shows can be an excellent opportunity to get in front of the people who matter to you, so don’t be afraid to prioritize your needs accordingly.
A little advice from my partner:
“Occupy yourself. Find ways that fill your time so your partner doesn’t feel that they have to tend to you. But be punctual and available for your partner’s down time when they get a little.”
Coming out as an adult performer or someone in the adult industry is a big deal for most. Although the ideals and conversations about sex and sexuality are slowly evolving, having any association with sex work and/or the adult industry is still considered ‘taboo’ among general society.
Regardless of how invested you are in Adult, it is a personal choice as to whether you decide to share this part of your life with others. As someone who has worked in the adult industry for almost a decade, and being confronted with this situation in recent years in my own personal life, I felt compelled to share my personal thoughts and advice on ‘coming out’ with the hope that it will give some peace of mind to those of you who are on the fence about having this pivotal conversation.
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